In the years that I healed full time, I definitely went through the stages. I am currently in a place where I want to move forward in my life. I am no longer interested in talking about the details of the abuse. I’m no longer interested in talking about abusers or why they do what they do. They no longer fascinate me or really interest me at all. Aggressors are now dull and boring to me, mostly all the same. They hurt and abuse. I am ready to leave them in the past where they belong.
I have not decided to go back to the drugs through the doctors and I am not going back to therapy at this time. I’m taking a break from all the intensive search for answers, information and all that. I am now working on what I know helps me. This list is my list and you may find other useful things that I have not listed. Feel free to chime in in the comment section and share what helped you the most or least if you want too.
The things I have found most helpful for me in coping and healing with CPTSD:
DBT Skills
Meditation
Conscious living practices
Physical and emotional grounding
Medical Marijuana
EMDR
Talk therapy for suicidal ideation
Limit my social media and online time
Reinforce my boundaries around people
What did NOT work for me:
group therapy
Antidepressants
Health and psychiatric professionals who are not informed about trauma
As much as the professionals want to tell me that I have this condition or disorder, but it all boils down to multiple people mistreating and hurting me and now my nervous system is out of control. I strive to make small changes over time and do practices that will help calm my system and continue to heal.
After my last encounter with the mental health system here is America, I feel like there will be no treatment or medication to help me and I am alone again. With my current life circumstances and the pandemic still raging with another rising wave, I have a unique opportunity to create a calmer and more peaceful life for myself. I continue now with my goals set a long time ago. I’m getting there and I’m getting there.
What objectives? I talked about it a bit here. I’m in class and half way through I finished my meditation instructor course. With this, I plan to create products to help other people learn to meditate and reap the benefits that come with the practice. I’m slow and it takes me a while but there’s really no rush. In fact, not rushing or rushing to pump products is part of taking better care of myself.
I’m excited again for what my life has in store for me. Stay tuned for more news! I will definitely write again in this blog. I also found several of my old video diaries and will repost them. It’s a slow process but I’m getting there! Thanks for reading and I hope you are all having a great week. 🙂
